Today is a bad day. It is Mother's day. It should be celebrated, but I can't find anything to celebrate. After several months of being alone and dealing with this mess I am starting to step out and found that my anxiety has started to melt away when I connected with my old friends. One step forward, two steps back. I don't want to be here but I am caught up in limbo and can't seem to move anywhere. It all feels so hopeless. And people smiling at me telling me I will be alright just doesn't seem to cut it. I need to write about this, but am not ready yet, still processing. It is so hard. I am trying so hard to be postive but life keeps whacking me upside the head. Shouldn't ten thousand scary moves a day count for something?
I just can't snap out of it.
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