Mar 24, 2009

All by my lonesome

And when i was needing support from my love ones. in the very day when i was getting a procedure,everyone let me down. for a wile I'm being feeling as an object in my families life's. and at some point I understand, the one dieing is me, every one else just keep going with their life's. They just can't get any economical help from me ..or any other help. so I'm not of their interest any more. In moments like this I taking refugee in God, and thanks to hem things are looking better by the day, looks like I going to get out of this one OK. That I'm praying so hard.

My heart is being from one disappointment to another whit the people that surround me. my heart it is badly hurting inside that some times is not able to feel any more, and at some point I thought that it could be more easy to die than to fight this disease. so many times I pray to God to let me die because the sorrow and the pain was so great to endure and I couldn't take no more. And I call my disease gran mother and my grand father to come for me but I have no answer. Now. I still two months more to go with my treatment, and all what i want is strength from my lord Jesus Christ, Some how. I know that he hasn't forget me. so God don't leave me my lord and easy up my suffering.