Tratando de comunicarme algo?

Esta semana los doctores me comunicaron que estaba tomando mi ultima dosis de quimoterapia y que de ahi en adelante solo tendre que tomar una pastilla por 6 meces e hir de vez en cuando a tomar otra docis de mantenimiento quimoterapeutico muy rara vez.

Pues bien.. eso si que fue una buena noticia, y devido a que tome este tratamiento por meces (8) para tener idea de la agrecividad del tratamiento. pues dire que practicamente vivi en el hospital y mi unica compania en el dia eran las enfermeras y una television que hay en mi cuarto. La cual por motivos que no se, dejo de funcionar el mismo dia que me informaron era mi ultima terapia.

Una asombrosa coincidencia o sera algo o alguien tratando de decirme o comunicarme algo? ya que en estos mometos mi cabeza es un caos. tengo que tomar deciciones muy dramaticas devido a que tanto tiempo en el hospital me dejo practicamente en la quiebra. Espero que esto solo signifique que no necesitare de esto para mas.

"The Impossible dream"

Parar musica de fondo con [ESC] en tu teclado.

To dream the impossible dream
To fight the unbeatable foe
To bear with unbearable sorrow
And to run where
The brave dare not go.

To right, the unrightable wrong
And to love pure and chaste from afair
To try when your arms are to weary
To reach the unreachable star

This is my quest
to follow that star
no matter how hopeless
no matteer how far

To fight for the right
with out question or pause
To be willing to march,
march in to hell for that heavenly couse
and i know
If'll only be true
to this glorious quest
that my heart
will lie peaceful and calm
when I'm laid to my rest

And the world will be
better for this
That one man, scorned
and covered with scars
Still strove with his last
ounce of courage

To reach the unreachable
the unreachable,
The unreachable star

And I'll always dream
The impossible dream
Yes, and I'll reach
The unreachable star

The circle of life

I being for a month in the hospital already becouse a complication with an infection. so instead 2 weeks of stancy for my chemothrerapy it took two more weeks to get back on shape.

Well...In this post i just wanted to say that something that i notice in all this time is that once in a wille i used to heard a lubabay song at any given time during the day. I was wandering why they use to played any time and not at the time when patients are getting ready to bed (to go to sleep u know?).

Well.. a nurse told me that the hospital used to play a lulabay song every time a baby is born. So far i herad it twice today. Ironies of life, some people come to die at the hospitals and at the same time some come to give new life to the world. Closing like that. The circle of life.

Angels among us..

I always believe in Angels, but not that kind of Angels with wings and hearps flying around. I wonder if we are the Angels and have been all along unaware of our own powers, our potential to transform others as we hope for transformation ourselves. How many times havee I longed for it that gentle wings bringing rescue and confort to me when my life went wrong and wondered if I was forgatten.

But I discover that Angels exist in the goodness of human heart awaiting a moment of need an opportunity to intervene and bring light into the darkness. There is so many of us all struggling all serching all so alone waiting for Angels to come not realizing that the work of Angels is really our own.
Today... I meet an Angel with a huge beautiful..but sad blue eyes , and a pretty name.. a nurse name K.

Super doctor (x) to the rescue

Talking about complications with my chemotherapy treatment, the las one i have was when the doctors find an infection in my blod (already taking care of ) but now a 5ml blod cloaght was found in an artery near my heart. So a crew of 4 doctors rush in to my room after they studied the resoults of my last cascan and X ray radiography, telling me the inminent danger i was in. "If the blod cloaght travels to your lungs or your heart youl be toast" if you know what i mean.

So after that they call a scort to swich me to the (ymci) room' Intensive care room' to watch me closely. Than they all left the room with an exeption of this really young doctor he looks to me like 28 or early 30's .
And we wait for the scort to take me to te Intensive care room, and we wait..15,20,30 minutes and my doctor say " This is crazy, do this people undertand that this is an emergency?" So he just star umpluging all the instruments on me and paking my stuff to take me to such a room Hi'm self. And he did.. everybody along the way was telling hem " you are not suppose to to that, we have people to get pay to do this" and he just reply "So where are they when you need one? we being wainting for them for an hour"

So stumbleling and hiting all over the wals he manege to take me in to my room. he promptly call the nuerses to plug me back in to my medicine and all the necesary instruments. He look at me and say.."what a ride ah?" and told hem "Not bad but you gonna need a drivers license" (we bouth laught).
And he finalise with this words " What happend to you as never hapended before, so I gonna write an article about you in the most important medical journal magassine that travels around the world and this matter will be saving lifes in the future."

God works in a misterius way.(Chemoteraphy problems)

I can't even remember howmany days as already pass cince I came to this hospita to take my 2 weeks chemoterapy. unfurtunatly something whent wrong, the doctors discover an infection in my chest medi port (divice to inject medicaments inplanted inside my chest, under the skin). and for this reason the medic staff decide to remove it to fight the infection with antibiotics. Well to make the history short they did remove it just to find out that such instrument couse a blog cloaght 5 cm large. They tolme "This as never happened before it is the first time that we are seeing this) So they have to disolve the blod cloaght with blod thinners. The cloaght was to close to my heart that a operation coul be to risky, so the best way to take care of it will be atacking it with blod tiners. the litle problem with this is that the blod cloght can brake lose and travel to my heart or my lungs, so they must watch my develoments closely and they transfer me to the Intensive care room. So far I still dealing with antibiotics and blod tinners, the infectios is gone but the blod cloght I must deal with it for several weeks.
One young doctor told me " This has never happened before so i will made an article in a medical journal magassine, you gonna made me famous" Just great! it never happened before but it happen to me. But.. I never being to pesimist in my life even in this particular case i must say that, By this to happen it means that it could hapen again. so to avoid that it is good to know that doctors are getting prepared to deal with this kind of situation, maybe they will do things diferent from now on, and the problem I have could be saving lifes around the world. God works in a misterius way.

All by my lonesome

And when i was needing support from my love ones. in the very day when i was getting a procedure,everyone let me down. for a wile I'm being feeling as an object in my families life's. and at some point I understand, the one dieing is me, every one else just keep going with their life's. They just can't get any economical help from me ..or any other help. so I'm not of their interest any more. In moments like this I taking refugee in God, and thanks to hem things are looking better by the day, looks like I going to get out of this one OK. That I'm praying so hard.

My heart is being from one disappointment to another whit the people that surround me. my heart it is badly hurting inside that some times is not able to feel any more, and at some point I thought that it could be more easy to die than to fight this disease. so many times I pray to God to let me die because the sorrow and the pain was so great to endure and I couldn't take no more. And I call my disease gran mother and my grand father to come for me but I have no answer. Now. I still two months more to go with my treatment, and all what i want is strength from my lord Jesus Christ, Some how. I know that he hasn't forget me. so God don't leave me my lord and easy up my suffering.